Jason Lee Norman
My girlfriend tells me that I care too much about semantics. She says that I focus too much on the words that people say and don’t give enough credence to what a person meant to say. I don’t know how to read between the lines, she says, which is probably because I’m spending too much time reading the actual lines. That’s where I’ve always believed most of the meaning is. Why would someone not mean the things they say, I’ve thought. And why wouldn’t someone just say what they mean?
Take winter for instance. People are always saying that in Edmonton we have six months of winter or eight months of winter or something like that. This kind of talk makes my brain boil from anger because I know that we have the exact same amount of winter each year. I know full well that the first day of Winter isn’t officially until the 21st of December and not a week earlier. I also know full well that the first day of Spring is March 20th and not a month later. According to my calculations that’s only three months of winter. If you have a problem with how cold it is in November or April then that’s really something you should be bringing up with Fall or Spring. Leave Winter out of it.
I stand in my front room and look out the window. The first big dump of snow has arrived and it’s time to go outside and shovel. A lot of people would say that winter has officially arrived, but not me. I know better. I go into the bedroom and start to put on layer after layer of clothing. I look out the window again, this time to my next door neighbor’s house. She’s an older lady and I’ve agreed to take care of her driveway as well this year. Twice as much work. In the middle of the street two magpies are fighting with a raven for something. The raven is as big as a Lhasa Apso and whatever he is guarding he is definitely succeeding in keeping it from the magpies.
I go outside and start to shovel. I know that with the size of my driveway and my neighbor’s driveway and the tools that I have at my disposal that this will be a multi-hour endeavor. I start by clearing a path for my girlfriend’s car so that she doesn’t get stuck in the driveway when she gets home. I make a runway down the length of the drive that is basically just two long strips wide enough for the wheels of her car to fit into and follow all the way up into the safety of the garage. I look out into the street and the magpies and raven are still at it over that little piece of trash. I think it’s an apple core. My girlfriend throws them out the car window sometimes when she’s done with the apple. She says they’re organic so it’s ok to do. I still feel weird about it. I wonder if the birds are fighting over my girlfriend’s apple.
I turn back to shoveling again and start to think about winter. Maybe I’m wrong in thinking that winter arrives at the same time every year. Maybe there needs to be something more dramatic that happens so as to wake everyone up and make them realize that it’s time for winter. Time to pay attention. Time to get prepared. Time to slow down and enjoy things. Maybe a huge accumulation of snow could be considered the official arrival of winter. It definitely gets people’s attention more than a date on a calendar. 300 cars in the ditch in a 24 hour period can wake people up as well. In this city we need a moment rather than a date.
The magpies are getting frustrated and the raven seems content in just sitting there on top of the apple core or whatever it is. He wants the magpies to know who is in control. Suddenly the magpies pull some kind of tag team wrestling move and snatch the apple core away from the raven. The raven gives up soon after this and the magpies celebrate with what looks to be a high five in a nearby snowbank. They even take a couple of celebratory rolls in the snow they’re so pleased with themselves.
It’s at this point that my girlfriend’s car comes rolling around the corner, bouncing and sliding through the huge piles of powder built up on the street. She uses the pathway I’ve made for her car and then rolls down the window. I lean into her warm car and kiss her warm lips with my cold ones and my icy beard immediately starts to melt. She says she’ll be out in a minute to help me with the rest of the shoveling. I tell her to stay warm inside but she insists. I know now that it really is officially winter in Edmonton. It doesn’t arrive on December 21st each year and it doesn’t arrive after the first big snowfall. It’s not until those magpies get that apple core away from the raven and spend the rest of the night laughing about it together in a tree somewhere. Keeping warm however birds do.
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